Sometimes I feel like saying
“I’m sorry but I’m _________”
Not smart enough
But I am owed an apology
For the subjective slaps to my self-esteem
For the urge to apologize
To a potential mate
‘neath whose gaze I might disintegrate
Who has already put me in a labeled crate
Yes: dateable. No: fuckable.
So now I cringe under every eye
I silence completely lest I apologize.
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As I fell asleep I questioned something that I had a habit of doing. I apologized to strangers or friends or lovers for aspects of myself that I could not change (or I could, to a very small degree). It’s incredibly infuriating to see yourself do something dumb and then see yourself do something dumb. These shouldn’t be “I’m sorry” or apologies these should be “I don’t give a shit about what you think, but this is who I am.” Cheers, to self-empowerment through the written word.