This model has been discontinued, the programming is faulty,
But the bios is in order
The tears are salty,
Its touch is quite sweet.
When registering happiness
Its eyes are brightly lit.
But back to the OS, it’s more human than machine,
It wouldn’t be a problem if it were not a moody teen.
It says that it loves you, then it says no,
It has an odd aversion to being all alone.
It doesn’t read most facial cues,
And stutters way too often,
And if you want it to love back
The tension you must soften.
So open up the panel
And clean it lovingly,
Because the cogs have too much rust
And overheat it does.
The unit will turn brightly red,
And try to hide away
So hold it firm and try to read
The code on the display.
And if you can’t debug it
I’m sorry no one can,
The language used to write it,
Was not in high demand.
So if you still would like to
Take this model home,
I know she isn’t perfect
But she’s as worthy as they come.
[Image: “Poster Robots” protected by a Creative Commons license belonging to Michael Coghlan]
Illustrated by Meli 